Things that go bump in the afternoon…

Pointy knife

Photo: MD Wright

By Freckle

Somebody—I think it was a Labradoodle—once said, “People do the strangest things!” I’ve written about some pretty strange things already but last week tops the list!

So I’m stretched out on the couch beside Shelley. Even though it was noon, the drapes were shut because Shelley was Sniping on the computer. Mmmm… maybe it was ‘Skyping’—it doesn’t really matter. Something to do with backlighting and the computer screen … I dunno. Anyway, I’m dozing peacefully when there was an enormous THUMP on the concrete walkway to our yard—right outside my window!  Shelley leaps up and goes outside to check it out. Nothing. Nobody except a gaggle of guys out on the sidewalk who tell Shelley that somebody with a knife just ran through our yard! Shelley came back inside really fast, opened the drapes and called 911. I was … like … beside myself right? I ran back and forth on the couch looking into the yard but there was nobody there. Shelley was talking to the police on the phone just like there was nothing happening.

Then … all of a sudden a short guy with a trendy haircut popped out from under our little tiny Japanese Maple tree! I mean … a cat would have a hard time getting under there! He was that small. He stood right in front of our big window with his back to us … not even three feet away! Then … he carefully brushed his clothes off. You know how dirty you can get when you hide in the bushes right? Then he tried to put the knife he was carrying down the front of his pants! I was just about to yell out the window, “Hey birdbrain! Not a good place!” But he seemed to figure it out and put it inside the side of his jeans. It was a pointy knife and much too big to fit in a little guy’s pocket.

So he looked like he was just about ready to leave after cleaning himself up and having a little talk with himself. Probably “positive self-talk” or “affirmations” or whatever they call it. Or maybe he’d had a cocktail before dropping by and was just muttering. Whatever. By this time, Shelley had called Mary Doug into the room to watch too. Then … the three of us and the birdbrain were shocked to see two men run into our yard and one of them tackle the little guy. It was amazing! Before you could say “Hey! You broke our birdbath!” [This he did!] the birdbrain was on his stomach on the ground with his hands held behind his back by the good samaritan.  Shelley was still on the phone with the police and was describing all this like a hockey announcer. The good samaritan barely had time to catch his breath when five police officers in uniforms and a few more in black T-shirts arrived and took over. It was like we had 3-D TV and a 12-foot screen!

It seems that the birdbrain had stolen something from the liquor store a couple of blocks from us. Then he ran past a nearby café where the good samaritan and his family were sitting enjoying a latte on the patio. At some point in the race that followed, the birdbrain tried to stab the good samaritan with the pointy knife. Unbelievable right? Birdbrain picked the wrong guy to mess with because the good samaritan used to be a cop in Europe or somewhere. We figured he knew what he was doing by the way he tackled the guy.  So the police put birdbrain in handcuffs and finally took him away after they did a whole lot of “paperwork” and consulting with each other. Shelley and the good samaritan had to write down everything they saw. Then another police officer came with a dog that looked exactly like my friend Saint but it wasn’t. They got the dog to search all the shrubbery up and down the block looking for something that birdbrain had thrown away while he was running from the liquor store. I heard one of the police officers say that he thought whatever it was had been rescued by a “not so good samaritan.”

Pretty wild Saturday afternoon right? I don’t think you need to be a Labradoodle to see that people really do do the strangest things! Mary Doug took some photos to prove it.

Good samaritans at work

Photo: MD Wright

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